| 1. Are you: |
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Male |
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Female |
| 2. Do you have a legal source of income? |
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Yes |
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No |
| 3. Effective communication skills are essential in business today. Which do you consider to be the most important of these skills? |
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Empathy and the ability to listen |
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The ability to discuss difficult issues calmly and rationally |
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A firm bitchslap and an eviction notice |
| 4. Do you see women as a source of money? |
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Yes |
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No |
| 5. A tenant's bond or deposit is: |
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A sum of money deposited by a tenant which is returned if they leave a property in the same state as when they arrive |
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Never returned |
| 6. Which of the following is NOT a legitimate business expense: |
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Bar tab |
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Lapdancing |
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Building repairs |
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Manicurist bill |
| 7. During a routine inspection of one of your apartments, you discover that the water heater is producing deadly carbon monoxide gas. Do you: |
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Evacuate the building and immediately call in qualified professionals to perform a thorough safety inspection |
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Offer to fix the heater in return for certain favours |
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Ignore it — there are loads of single moms out there |
| 8. You discover that some tenants have been smoking reefer in one of your apartments. Do you: |
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Immediately contact the local law enforcement agency |
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Confiscate the marijuana cigarettes and put up the rent — if they can afford to buy drugs, then the rent's clearly not high enough |
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Confiscate the marijuana cigarettes and do nothing — you can't remember what they did, and you're feeling far too bombed to care anyway |
| 9. A tenant complains that the carpet on the stairs is loose, and that he might trip and break a bone. What do you do? |
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Thank him for bringing it to your attention, and arrange to have a brand new carpet fitted |
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Prod the carpet with your snakeskin boot and tell him it looks okay to you |
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Get your business associates to break his legs, then tell him it doesn't matter now |
| 10. A student living in one of your properties disrespects you with some back talking. How do you deal with the situation? |
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Let it go, as he must be under a lot of stress with his exams |
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Line the trunk of your car with plastic sheeting... no-one will miss another goddamn student |
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Evict his moanin' honky ass |
| 11. Have you ever been imprisoned for more than 24 hours on any charge involving violence, excluding domestic (Sheeeeeit, knocking yo' bitch about ain't no crime. Trick needs ta learn ta keep her mouth shut!)? |
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Yes |
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No |
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No — I always get someone from my crew to take the rap |
| 12. Would you say you can run fast, especially while carrying a large rectangular object. Like, for instance, a television? |
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Goddamn right I can! |
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Fuck no, I ain't no olympic-mother-fucking-sprinter! |
| 13. Your income is no longer sufficient to support your lavish playa lifestyle. Do you: |
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Reduce your expenditure by cutting back on a few luxuries, and consider another profession if things don't pick up |
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Increase your tenants rent by 200%, and continue watching Quincy |
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Put your woman out on "de fancy stroll", and continue watching Quincy |
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Business & Finance